Post-Election Glee
Almost two and a half days after the elections, I can finally come down from my high and write something (I actually started writing this yesterday, but, if you’re bothering to read (welcome!), it looks like today to you). The House, the majority of governorships, and the Senate? Great kookamunga! Who would’ve thought we’d take all three? This time two years ago, who would’ve thought this would’ve been possible two years later? Remember how miserable it was when Kerry conceded? Remember all the talk of a generation of Republican rule? Hell, I thought a generation was 20 years not 2.
***
We won. Remember that. Celebrate that. I know, it’s hard to do (actually, no, it isn’t). But, dammit, we won! Yeah, soon, it’s back to business, back to pre-1994 Republican minority bitching and whining (hell, they did the same after 1994 too).
The Republican Revolution is dead. Yeah, they’re already working on a new one, but we killed the old one. It’s a stunning reversal for politics in this country.
***
What happened can all be tied to Bush. Along with the Iraq war, this will be his lasting legacy. He took his party’s steelclad dominance and destroyed it. The Republicans in power abandoned their constitutional responsibilities of being a check on the President and instead, in hopes of crushing the opposition party, pledged undying fealty to him. When the election season came, they ran far away, trying to act like they never met the guy, but print and visual media is a bitch. If they would’ve stood up for their country and the Constitution instead of standing up for their President and party (and not conflating all four things as one and the same), they may have held on. Of course, the world might be a much different place if they had stood up for the right things long ago.
***
No Diebold shenanigans. No war with Iran or North Korea. No terrorist attacks. No capturing or killing of Osama bin Laden. No videotape of Osama bin Laden. None of the conspiracy theories came to pass. The best they had was playing up John Kerry’s botched joke and Saddam Hussein’s sentencing. Indeed, Karl Rove and Dick Cheney are not all powerful as they led us to believe. We’re looking behind the curtain and, man, what a pitiful sight!
***
So long, Rick Santorum. So long, Ken Blackwell. So long, Conrad Burns. So long, George Allen. So long, Don Sherwood. So long, Curt Weldon. So long, Michael Steele. So long, Katherine Harris. And a little post-election day gift: so long, Donald Rumsfeld. I guess the prospect of answering questions before a Democratic-controlled congressional panel was too much for you. Oh, well. Off to The Hague with you!
Too bad we can’t include Joe Liebermann on that list. Oh well. It was fun watching him go down in the primary. Now that Santorum and Allen are gone, I guess he’s now the biggest dick in the Senate.
***
The last bit of news that sealed the deal: Conrad Burns officially concedes in Montana, and George Allen will concede shortly in Virginia. The writing was on the wall, gentlemen, in plainly written English, since you guys don’t like that multicultural bilingual crap, in small enough words that even George can understand.
***
Now, after Republicans having had their asses handed to them, there will now be calls for bipartisanship and consensus and working together and all of us gathering the campfire and can’t we all just get along? Democrats, please don’t fall for this bullshit again. They’re only playing nice now because they got nailed with their hands in the cookie jar and there’s no way out for them. But when they get back in power, they’ll be ruthless and look to destroy your leaders no matter how nice you were to them before.
Remember 1992, when Bill Clinton was elected President. He could’ve pushed the Iran Contra stuff further but declined to do so, wanting to be nice and start out with a clean slate and let bygones be bygones. What did Republicans do? They spent his entire Presidency looking for ways to have him thrown out of office, culminating in impeachment for a blowjob, and even after he’s been out of office for six years, they still try to blame every bad thing that happens on him.
My advice: be nice, sure, but don’t let a golden opportunity pass you by, and be downright mean when you have to be. There must be investigations into some of the things that have happened in this country the last 6 years. If these leads to prosecutions or impeachment, so be it. Nancy Pelosi’s saying impeachment is off the table, but if there’s a case for it, it has to come back on.
***
Rahm Emmanuel will get the credit for this election, but Howard Dean deserves the accolades. His campaign in 2004 energized the people-powered movement, and his “50-state strategy” put resources into races where no one thought a victory would’ve been possible. His strategy was contrary to Emmanuel’s and the rest of the Dem establishment’s usual losing game plan. Dean’s rise to party chairman was what made this happen.
***
And remember that the new public enemy number one in conservative circles is now Nancy Pelosi, who’s been bumped ahead of Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, and Barbra Streisand. She’s now a “San Francisco liberal” who’s out to raise your taxes and make you have a gay marriage. Let the demonization begin!
***
And the twelve days of Christmas just keep on giving: Ken Mehlman is stepping down as chair of the RNC. So long, Ken Mehlman! A used car dealership in San Francisco or Rehoboth Beach awaits you!
***
We won. Remember that. Celebrate that. I know, it’s hard to do (actually, no, it isn’t). But, dammit, we won! Yeah, soon, it’s back to business, back to pre-1994 Republican minority bitching and whining (hell, they did the same after 1994 too).
The Republican Revolution is dead. Yeah, they’re already working on a new one, but we killed the old one. It’s a stunning reversal for politics in this country.
***
What happened can all be tied to Bush. Along with the Iraq war, this will be his lasting legacy. He took his party’s steelclad dominance and destroyed it. The Republicans in power abandoned their constitutional responsibilities of being a check on the President and instead, in hopes of crushing the opposition party, pledged undying fealty to him. When the election season came, they ran far away, trying to act like they never met the guy, but print and visual media is a bitch. If they would’ve stood up for their country and the Constitution instead of standing up for their President and party (and not conflating all four things as one and the same), they may have held on. Of course, the world might be a much different place if they had stood up for the right things long ago.
***
No Diebold shenanigans. No war with Iran or North Korea. No terrorist attacks. No capturing or killing of Osama bin Laden. No videotape of Osama bin Laden. None of the conspiracy theories came to pass. The best they had was playing up John Kerry’s botched joke and Saddam Hussein’s sentencing. Indeed, Karl Rove and Dick Cheney are not all powerful as they led us to believe. We’re looking behind the curtain and, man, what a pitiful sight!
***
So long, Rick Santorum. So long, Ken Blackwell. So long, Conrad Burns. So long, George Allen. So long, Don Sherwood. So long, Curt Weldon. So long, Michael Steele. So long, Katherine Harris. And a little post-election day gift: so long, Donald Rumsfeld. I guess the prospect of answering questions before a Democratic-controlled congressional panel was too much for you. Oh, well. Off to The Hague with you!
Too bad we can’t include Joe Liebermann on that list. Oh well. It was fun watching him go down in the primary. Now that Santorum and Allen are gone, I guess he’s now the biggest dick in the Senate.
***
The last bit of news that sealed the deal: Conrad Burns officially concedes in Montana, and George Allen will concede shortly in Virginia. The writing was on the wall, gentlemen, in plainly written English, since you guys don’t like that multicultural bilingual crap, in small enough words that even George can understand.
***
Now, after Republicans having had their asses handed to them, there will now be calls for bipartisanship and consensus and working together and all of us gathering the campfire and can’t we all just get along? Democrats, please don’t fall for this bullshit again. They’re only playing nice now because they got nailed with their hands in the cookie jar and there’s no way out for them. But when they get back in power, they’ll be ruthless and look to destroy your leaders no matter how nice you were to them before.
Remember 1992, when Bill Clinton was elected President. He could’ve pushed the Iran Contra stuff further but declined to do so, wanting to be nice and start out with a clean slate and let bygones be bygones. What did Republicans do? They spent his entire Presidency looking for ways to have him thrown out of office, culminating in impeachment for a blowjob, and even after he’s been out of office for six years, they still try to blame every bad thing that happens on him.
My advice: be nice, sure, but don’t let a golden opportunity pass you by, and be downright mean when you have to be. There must be investigations into some of the things that have happened in this country the last 6 years. If these leads to prosecutions or impeachment, so be it. Nancy Pelosi’s saying impeachment is off the table, but if there’s a case for it, it has to come back on.
***
Rahm Emmanuel will get the credit for this election, but Howard Dean deserves the accolades. His campaign in 2004 energized the people-powered movement, and his “50-state strategy” put resources into races where no one thought a victory would’ve been possible. His strategy was contrary to Emmanuel’s and the rest of the Dem establishment’s usual losing game plan. Dean’s rise to party chairman was what made this happen.
***
And remember that the new public enemy number one in conservative circles is now Nancy Pelosi, who’s been bumped ahead of Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, and Barbra Streisand. She’s now a “San Francisco liberal” who’s out to raise your taxes and make you have a gay marriage. Let the demonization begin!
***
And the twelve days of Christmas just keep on giving: Ken Mehlman is stepping down as chair of the RNC. So long, Ken Mehlman! A used car dealership in San Francisco or Rehoboth Beach awaits you!
